Yeah pretty sure it was a weed joke.
This may be the most concise summary I’ve ever seen of why the world is the way it is today.
https://x.com/missmayn/status/1842289746220892446?s=46&t=ECIc-ET7JxxiLXr8SgrQ7Q
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The World Grand Prix (PDC Darts major event) starts now and runs through Sunday. It’s available to stream for free on the PlutoTV Fanduel channel. This is the only televised tournament that uses the double-in format to my knowledge. The 17-year-old prodigy is a slight favorites to ship (7/2).
So I had a really weird weekend:
- Went to the Michigan-Washington game. Holy shit both Seattle and UW - I owe you an apology, I was not aware of your game. Just an absolute epic setting for a football game. Sailgaiting was a completely unique experience. Looking out from the stadium shouldn’t be this good:
The food (seafood obv) and coffee shops I hit up were great.
- I ended up going with what was basically a bunch of friends of a friend of mine if that makes sense. I kinda knew a few people from back in my college days, but my actual buddy had to bail at the last second. The group was a really strange dynamic, and the core was a bunch of engineers that all loved to drink and smoke, half of them were divorced because they cheated on their wives after they had kids, and suddenly they got all judgy and religious when we drove by a drag queen bar and saw some homeless people.
I didn’t say shit because that wasn’t the vibe I wanted and I’ll probably never see these guys again, but holy hell man. It wasn’t just your typical Christian bullshit either, loudest guys were Muslim. Like I’m not that up on the muslim faith but I’m pretty sure shitting on someone else for dressing as a woman while you’re drunk and smoking a joint is pretty hypocritical still.
Just found out I’m disinherited. Or, more accurately, my parents drew up wills before I was born leaving everything to their siblings with no mention of future offspring, and never updated them - then after my father brought it up, not me, and he suggested updating it, I tracked down a lawyer for him who suggested he tear up the old ones in case anything happens in the interim… Now he’s having doubts and is considering leaving them as is with everything going to my aunts and uncles and writing them a letter asking them to give it all to me. He knew and approved of me finding a lawyer, getting quotes, and setting it up for him to review and sign off on and now that I have a lawyer drafting a letter of engagement he has second thoughts and wants to find his own lawyer.
There aren’t enough LOLs in the world. For his approach to this, for him trusting siblings and in laws to pass the money on (never mind the tax implications), or for me upending my life for a couple weeks and flying across the country spending 100 hours saving his ass and getting yelled at along the way, only to have him blow off my advice and waste my time, and possibly end up being completely disinherited. Guess I’m a sucker when it comes to him.
He also seems to think I only care about getting his money, even though I’ve encouraged him to aim to spend almost all of it by the time he’s 85 and explicitly explained that my only concern is that I don’t want a nursing home to be able the suck it all up and bleed them dry instead of of it being passed on. I also even brought up that he might want to consider leaving some to his sister, that it didn’t all have to go to me. But no, I’m dumb and greedy and can’t be trusted with this stuff.
Boomers are the fucking worst.
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If this his genuine goal to get you the money eventually I’m sure any lawyer in the country would tell him giving it to his siblings first is ridiculous so feel like if you can convince him to go to talk to any estate lawyer of his choosing just to talk things over they would probably explain why it’s crazy and you could hopefully get the reasonable result
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It sounds like he’s going to die broke anyway, but man I really think I’d be done helping in your shoes, for my own sanity.
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Yeah I told him he can do whatever he wants, find his own lawyer, whatever. I’ll forward him the engagement letter and he can sign it or not sign it. Now he’s suggesting Legal Zoom. Guessing he’s going to ask me to pay for the lawyer next, although this quote was only $750 for POA and a will, which sounds reasonable.
I kind of don’t care at this point, I know it he talks to a lawyer and wants the money to go to me they’ll tell him involving others in that process is dumb. If he wants to cut me out then that’s fine too, I’ll have the clarity on it and can move forward accordingly.
Yeah agreed on the first part, and for now the second. I can’t be spending time only for him to decide to scrap it and waste my time when we’re approaching the finish line. He’s retired, I’ve got to work. And I’d rather have him cut me out on his own than to involve myself in the process only to be accused of trying to get his money.
So sorry you are dealing with even more. Sounds like he/they have crossed the point of having their full faculties.
My Dad wanted to make some changes at the end, thankfully they weren’t major (make me and my brother executors mainly), but nothing happened. Which was good because of their stupid way he set up things with his girlfriend. So much better having the bank take care of things. I expect that if he continued to live another year in his diminished state that we could have had a real mess. Instead all went pretty smooth.
But have seen more than a handful of instances where parents either get swindled (by one relative or a small town lawyer/money manager or a new partner) or just become paranoid.
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I agree with this with one big caveat based on my wife’s experience (and therefore our experience) with her dad: if you’re going to tap out, you have to be 100% committed to tapping out. Like, if you say “OK I’m not helping anymore” but when push comes to shove and in two years they’re about to be literally out on the street or in a horrible state home, and you know at that point you’re going to jump back in to try to save the day, you’re actually screwing yourself by not helping now.
And that last part is really really hard, I think. It is very easy for me to say to my wife that I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be lifting a finger to help her dad if I were her, but I certainly have never been faced with a set of choices where one of them is telling a parent “fuck you, call social services”.
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Yeah that’s definitely something I need to think about and discuss with my wife. Part of the issue is my mother is sweet and innocent on all of this, so it depends on the order of events how we’re going to feel about it. Beyond that, my wife is very adamant about not letting either of them end up in a nursing home if it can at all be avoided. Given the amount of advice I’ve given him that’s been ignored (with a healthy side of disrespect), resulting in the likelihood of them being flat broke and needing us to keep them out of a shitty nursing home if it comes to it, the logic side of my brain is telling me I’d be a moron to spend a bunch of money on their end of life when we don’t even own a home.
But very good advice, gotta be committed to it one way or the other and act accordingly now.
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No advice, but man, what a fucked up situation.
Not to be too bleak but a nursing home is one of the better possible outcomes here.