Now we head to the Senate… Two-term senator Claire McCaskill managed to parlay a mediocre at best Senate career into a talking head career with MSNBC, so that she can shit on progressives at every opportunity. Somehow nobody seems to remember that she lost to 7-seed Josh Hawley, allowing that fascist fuck to rise to power. She’ll take on snowball lover Jim Inhofe, an old school climate denier. Herp derp, snow still exists so climate change is a librul HOAX!
And now the play-in game you’ve all been waiting for, a couple of slappable losers if I ever saw one. Wannabe senator Mehmet “Crudite” Oz and wannabe senator Herschel “The Sherriff” Walker battle for a 10-seed, and let’s be honest, the winner here is drawing very live in the round of 64.
Alright I’ve got to make the case for McCaskill here. Listen, Jim Inhofe is just a moron. Plain and simple. It’s probably not even his fault, doesn’t Oklahoma rank like 46th in education or something? Besides, what’s he up to now? He retired at 88, which means he has more self-awareness than Pidgins Grassley and Dianne Feinstein.
We’re never going to hear from this asshole again, and he gave us a lifetime of snowball jokes!
But McCaskill is going to be on our televisions for years to come. Whenever there’s an election night and they need to blame progressive for Democrats’ ineptitude, she’ll be there. That’s right, the moderate who lost to Josh Fucking Hawley will be preaching about electability and centrist Dems for years to come.
If that doesn’t make you want to throw your remote through the television every time, what does?
I did not expect McCaskill vs Inhofe to be close. After winning her seat in 2006, she held on to win re-election in 2012 against Todd “Legitimate Rape” Akin, before the following happened:
In 2016, Jason Kander runs a progressive challenge against the incumbent Roy Blunt. Even with Trump on the ballot, Kander gets very close to knocking off Blunt, losing 49-46
In 2018, shift every variable in the Ds favor: it’s a blue wave election against an unpopular president, said president is not on the ballot to turn his base out, McCaskill has the incumbent’s advantage. What happens? She loses by double Kander’s margin, 51-46, to Josh fucking Hawley, the world’s fakest elite Stanford grad cosplaying as a good ole’ Midwestern boy.
For good measure, she made sure to go down in the most embarrassing way possible:
Did this epic faceplant merit any self-reflection? No, she now has a permanent job on MSNBC where her failtastic career makes her feel completely entitled to play Democrat Whisperer and act like she knows the direction the party should go.
Inhofe’s shtick, by contrast, is very 2005. The GOP has dozens of way more insane flavors you can try, he’s vanilla, can’t be bothered to even care about him anymore.
It was an overtime thriller, but Inhofe holds off McCaskill who is going to have to settle for making me want to throw my remote from here to Missouri. And yes, that’s really Jim Inhofe’s full name.
Meanwhile Chris Christie stomps that loser from Happy Days, 68% to 32%.
Brian Kemp opens up a Georgia-sized can of whoop-ass on Preet Bharara, 75% to 25%.
And Dr. Oz makes Herschel Walker the biggest dope of a Sherriff since Barney Fife got a temporary promotion, 85% to 15%.
Can’t believe it’s been a week since you bumped this. I will continue it in the next few days. I realized the next round in particular is going to be a beast to manage in sheer volume, and I want to do it right with good content and include pictures.
With that in mind, I’m not going to ignore the elephant in the room. There have been some absurd lies about this thread, which have attacked the morals and character of multiple posters here and SPE as a community. So I want to point a few things out:
There were 68 contestants in the Slapsgiving tournament. By my count, 60 are men, 8 are women. It is not a thread about slapping women. Further, it’s a clear reference to How I Met Your Mother, clearly parody, and not a thread about actually slapping people. We did have a discussion over whether women should be included at all, and I made it clear that I was open to changing the title, that it was parody, and it was about the most hate-worthy politicians, not about actually slapping people. This is all right here in the thread for anyone to see.
There have been accusations that a poster in this thread discussed raping a woman, and that others joined in that discussion or fantasized about it. A poster did make a post mentioning hate fucking. There are accusations that there was then a discussion here including others in which they talked about/fantasized about hate fucking female politicians. That never happened. In reality, the poster was told it was in bad taste and they removed the post themselves. The post said that they didn’t know the politically correct term for “hate fuck” so that may impact how they ranked a certain candidate. The only reply to the post was the same poster saying they deleted it because it was inappropriate. That’s it, full stop.
You can easily verify everything I’ve written in this post by reading this thread.
With that said, we can shift our focus back to this fine tournament and the outstanding contestants we have.
