I did as part of a renovation. 3 bathrooms done, so 3 toilets.
I dont want to out myself for how much i poop but ive burned through several toilets
When I am taking to my son about his mother, I can never decide whether to do a Borat MY WIFE or make a YOUR MOM joke
If he’s old enough you can go with the classic “motherfucker” joke
I am going to a family reunion for my wife in rural Syracuse NY and I haven’t had a drink in 6 weeks.
My wife lived in Auburn until age 8. We go visit sometimes. Spend as much time in Skaneatlas as you can.
got my yearly license plate renewal notice in the mail, the notice says the total renewal (state fee + local wheel tax) will be $118 with $2 extra to have the sticker mailed to me (instead of standing in line at the county clerk’s office for 1/2 day).
Just processed the renewal on the county clerk’s website and it came out to $146.22
Do they contract out the website to Ticketmaster?
no, they just got the local portion completely wrong, the county fee was incorrect, the city fee was completely missing. There is an additional “processing fee” for paying by credit card but that’s only $3
I just went to a Walmart for the first time in 15 years
T-shirts were made.
Only 1 confederate flag tattoo so far but only been an hour.
Group Jesus prayer.
4 year old boy named Harley.
80ish adults and 99% sure wife and I are only office workers and possibly only exempt workers.
One aunt had 16 kids and she’s referred to as
Fertile myrtle
at work we have slack channels for each prospect we are working, but some of the sales dipshits insist on using group DMs and will just send me something out of the blue saying “CHRIS AND MIKE WILL MEET WITH US ON THE 18TH” and I’m like WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT MOTHERFUCKER, all the context is gone depending on whether they rememeber to include the same people on the group DM, just absolute clown hours and they REFUSE to stop doing this and use the proper channel that exists for a good reason
This reminds me of a good friend of mine from high school. He would tell a story about people I barely knew, and then new characters would come in and out of the story by pronoun only.
Frustrated the s*** out of me.
Fuck you Accenture, they are able to send me a letter saying my address isn’t valid but you can’t update your address in their system without having a valid address. You also have to go through a 5 minute fucking phone tree to get a representative to get if fixed, EXCEPT the last fucking check they do is if they have representatives working on the weekend, and they don’t.
there are a lot of annoying things about amazon, but this is one of the most tilting:
Why is one size $1.10 more than the other???
bigger shoe = more material used, therefore slightly more expensive 
Can you copy the DM into the correct Slack channel?
And just add an “Fyi” before the copied dm.